Red Rocks Bag Policy 2022

Alright, gather 'round, folks. I've got a tale to tell about the Red Rocks Bag Policy 2022. Now, I know what you're thinking, "This guy's about to bore us to tears with some dry, official spiel." But fear not, dear listeners, for I am here to turn this bag policy into a darn good story.

Once Upon a Time in Morrison...

Picture this: it's a beautiful day in Morrison, Colorado. The sun's out, the birds are singing, and you're all ready to catch your favorite band at the legendary Red Rocks Amphitheatre. You've got your tickets, your sunscreen, and your trusty old backpack. But hold your horses, my friend, because that backpack might just be your ticket to a world of trouble.

Now, I'm not saying Red Rocks is the bag police, but they do have a few rules when it comes to what you can and can't bring into the show. And let me tell you, these rules are about as flexible as a rock. Hence the name, I guess.

Size Matters...

First things first, let's talk size. You know how some people say size doesn't matter? Well, Red Rocks isn't one of those people. They've got a strict 'no bags larger than 16" x 16" x 8'" policy. That's right, folks, your bag can't be any bigger than a small toddler. So, if you were planning on bringing your entire wardrobe, you might want to rethink that.

But don't worry, you can still bring a bag. Just make sure it's small enough to fit in those nifty little pouches they've got at the entrance. You know, the ones that look like they were designed by the same people who brought you the TARDIS. Because, you know, bigger on the inside and all that.

What's In Your Bag?

Now, you might be thinking, "Okay, my bag's the right size. I'm good to go." Not so fast, my friend. Red Rocks wants to know what's inside that bag of yours. And no, they're not interested in your dirty laundry. They're looking for contraband, folks. The stuff that'll get you kicked out faster than you can say "Free Bird."

So, what's on the naughty list? Well, let's start with the obvious: weapons. Now, I know some of you might be thinking, "But I need my trusty sword to fend off the concert-goer hoards." Sorry, Charlie. Red Rocks is a weapon-free zone. That means no swords, no knives, and definitely no lightsabers. Yes, I've seen the petitions. No, they're not changing their minds.

Next up, we've got the stuff that'll make you see double. That's right, folks, Red Rocks is saying "no" to drugs. And while I'm sure your "medical marijuana" is perfectly legal, it's still a no-no at the amphitheatre. So, leave your stash at home, folks. Unless you've got a prescription, of course. Then, by all means, bring on the pharmaceuticals.

Red Rocks Bag Policy for Concerts - 2023 Concert Bag Policy

Now, I know what you're thinking. "But what about alcohol? I can't enjoy a concert without a few cold ones." Well, here's where things get a little tricky. Red Rocks is all about the booze. They've got bars, they've got beer gardens, they've even got those fancy wine slushies. But here's the catch: you can't bring your own. Yes, you heard me right. No sneaky flasks, no hidden six-packs. If you want to drink, you've got to buy it there. It's like they're running a monopoly on the fun. But hey, at least the drinks are cold.

And the Rest...

Alright, so we've covered the big stuff. But Red Rocks has a few more rules up their sleeve. Like, for instance, no professional cameras. I know, I know, you've got that fancy new DSLR, and you're just dying to get some shots of your favorite band. But unless you've got a press pass, you're going to have to settle for your phone. And hey, at least you'll have some great selfies to remember the night by.

Now, let's talk about the stuff you can bring. Because, believe it or not, there are actually some things Red Rocks wants you to have. Like, for instance, a blanket. Because, you know, rocks get cold at night. And while we're on the subject of staying warm, you might want to bring a jacket. Because, you know, Colorado weather is about as predictable as a toddler on a sugar high.

And speaking of staying comfortable, Red Rocks wants you to have some water. I know, I know, you're thinking, "But I'll have to carry it." Yes, you will. But they've got water stations all over the place, so you can fill up as much as you want. And hey, at least you won't have to worry about dehydration. Unless, of course, you're one of those people who can't go five minutes without checking your phone. In which case, you might want to bring a portable charger. Because, you know, nothing says "I'm having a great time" like a dead phone.

And That's the Tale...

So there you have it, folks. The Red Rocks Bag Policy 2022, told in all its glory. I know it's not the most exciting story in the world, but hey, at least you'll know what you can and can't bring to the show. And who knows? Maybe you'll even have a little fun along the way.

Now, go forth, my friends, and enjoy the music. Just remember to leave your swords at home. Trust me, you don't want to be that guy.