United Center Bag Policy 2019

Alright, folks, gather 'round. I've got a tale to tell about the United Center's bag policy. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Bag policy? That's as exciting as watching paint dry!" But hold onto your hats, because this isn't your grandma's bag policy. We're talking Chicago, home of deep-dish pizza and Michael Jordan. Things are done big here, even when it comes to what you can and can't bring into the United Center.

Size Matters

Let's start with the big one - or rather, the small one. The United Center has a strict "no bag" policy. But don't worry, they're not asking you to leave your dignity at the door. They're just asking you to leave your bags at home. Or, if you must bring one, it's got to be the size of a clutch purse or smaller. Think of it as a challenge - can you fit your life into something that could double as a fancy evening bag?

Now, I've seen some creative interpretations of this rule. One guy tried to sneak in a bag of chips in a sandwich bag, claiming it was his "lunch purse". The security guard just laughed and said, "Buddy, that's a snack, not a purse." So, you've been warned. Leave the oversized totes and backpacks at home, folks.

What's Allowed?

But what can you bring? Well, let's start with the obvious - your wallet, phone, and keys. You know, the essentials. But here's where it gets interesting. You can bring in a clear bag, up to 12" x 6" x 12". It's like they're challenging you to a game of Tetris, but with your belongings instead of blocks.

And get this - you can bring in a medical bag or diaper bag, no matter the size. So, parents, you can finally rejoice. Your diaper bag can stay as big and bulky as ever. Just don't try to sneak in a six-pack of beer in it. Trust me, I've seen people try, and it never ends well.

What's Prohibited?

Now, let's talk about what you can't bring. And boy, is this list a doozy. No backpacks, no large purses, no duffel bags. But here's where it gets fun - no selfie sticks. Yes, you heard me right. The United Center has declared war on selfie sticks. I mean, can you blame them? Have you seen some of the selfie stick-related accidents? It's a safety hazard, folks.

And here's a shocker - no signs or banners. Yes, even if it's a sign supporting your favorite team. The United Center wants you to keep your cheering verbal. So, leave your "We Love You, Coach!" banner at home. Trust me, Coach will understand.

Food and Drink

Now, let's talk about food and drink. You know, the real reason we're all here. The United Center allows you to bring in one sealed bottle of water per person. So, no smuggling in a case of soda. And no outside food. But here's a fun fact - you can bring in empty reusable bottles and fill them up inside. It's like a magic trick, but with water instead of rabbits.

Navigate United Center Bag Policy for Games & Concerts

And here's a pro tip - if you're planning on bringing in food for a little one, just ask the security guard. They're usually pretty understanding. One time, I saw a guy bring in a whole pizza. The guard just laughed, took a slice, and let him in. Now that's what I call a win-win.

What Happens to Prohibited Items?

So, what happens if you try to bring in a prohibited item? Well, the United Center has a few options for you. They can either confiscate the item and you can pick it up after the event, or they can discard it. Now, I've seen some people get pretty attached to their prohibited items. One woman was so upset about leaving her giant purse behind that she started crying. The guard just patted her on the back and said, "Ma'am, it's just a purse. It's not worth ruining your night over." Wise words, folks.

And here's a fun fact - the United Center has a whole room dedicated to confiscated items. They call it the "Lost and Found Room of Doom". Okay, they don't actually call it that, but I like to imagine they do. It's like a museum of prohibited items. I've seen everything from giant stuffed animals to full-sized guitars.

Final Thoughts

So there you have it, folks. The United Center's bag policy, laid bare for all to see. It might seem strict, but remember, they're just trying to keep everyone safe. And who knows, maybe you'll find a new appreciation for the clutch purse. I mean, think of all the pockets you'll never have to check again!

And remember, if you're ever in doubt, just ask a security guard. They're usually pretty friendly, and they've heard every excuse in the book. Trust me, I've tried them all. Well, maybe not all. But enough to know what works and what doesn't.

So, go forth, United Center attendees. Leave your bags at home, or at least make sure they're small enough to pass as a fancy evening bag. And most importantly, have fun. Because at the end of the day, that's what it's all about.