Bag Policy At Us Bank Stadium

The Great Purse Panic of 2024: Surviving US Bank Stadium's Bag Policy

Let me tell you about the time I almost got tackled by a security guard for a granola bar. It was at US Bank Stadium, and I had committed the cardinal sin of forgetting the bag policy. I thought I was just going to watch football, but really, I was entering a high-stakes game of "Will This Fit in a Ziploc?"

The official rule is simple: if your bag is bigger than a pair of sunglasses, you’re in trouble. You are allowed exactly one clear plastic bag, no larger than 12” x 6” x 12”. That’s roughly the size of a loaf of bread, if that loaf of bread had nothing to hide.

We are talking crystal clear. Not frosted, not tinted, not "well, you can kinda see through it." If a security guard can’t immediately see that your bag contains nothing but hope and a credit card, you will be banished to the dreaded bag-check line.

The Clutch Loophole (and Why It’s a Lie)

Here is the most surprising fact: you can bring a non-clear bag, but only if it is a "clutch" that is 4.5” x 6.5”. That is smaller than a paperback book. It is the size of a large wallet that has given up on life. I measured my hand. My hand is bigger than that bag.

I saw a woman try to enter with a tiny purse that barely held a lipstick. The guard held up a measuring stick like he was a carpenter. The purse was one millimeter too wide. He pointed to the truck of shame where her bag would be held hostage until the fourth quarter.

Pro tip: unless you are bringing a single credit card and a piece of gum, just use the clear bag. Do not test the tape measure. I watched a man try to argue that his fanny pack was "technically a belt." He was escorted to the Bag Re-Education Center (probably).

Us Bank Stadium Bag Policy 2022 at Samantha Brabyn blog

What You Can Actually Bring (Prepare to Be Bored)

You can bring a factory-sealed plastic water bottle. Emphasis on "factory-sealed." If you bring a reusable bottle, even if it’s empty, they might look at you like you’re smuggling uranium. I once saw a dad try to bring in a stainless steel flask. That flask is now a permanent exhibit at the security office.

You can also bring snacks, but they must be in a clear bag. No opaque wrappers. No "mystery Tupperware." If the guard can’t tell if that brown lump is a brownie or a brick, you’re out. I brought a bag of baby carrots last time. The guard nodded approvingly. Carrots are apparently the official vegetable of US Bank Stadium security.

And no umbrellas. Yes, even if it’s raining sideways. The policy says you can bring a poncho, but the second that poncho is in a non-clear package, you’ll be wearing it inside out to prove it’s not a parachute.

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The Walk of Shame (or, The Bag Check Line)

If you forget, you’ll be sent to the "Bag Check" service. This costs money. It is not free. You are paying a stranger to hold your purse hostage while you cheer for a touchdown. It feels like a ransom drop.

I watched a group of friends get separated because one girl had a small backpack. The backpack went to Bag Jail. The rest of the group entered the stadium, waving sadly through the glass. They reunited in the second quarter, but the emotional damage was done.

Here’s the kicker: the medically necessary bag exception exists, but it requires a tag. You have to go to a guest services booth and get verified. It is a whole bureaucratic process. It’s easier to just shove your inhaler into your bra or your sock.

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The Survival Guide (A Haiku)

Clear bag, small as toast.
No secrets, no mystery lumps.
Your purse goes to jail.

So, how do you win? Go hands-free. Wear a jacket with deep pockets. That is the true loophole. Cargo pants are not fashion; they are a tactical bag policy evasion device. I once fit a phone, keys, a portable charger, and a hot dog in my jacket pockets. The guard waved me through with a pity smile.

Remember: US Bank Stadium’s bag policy is not designed to ruin your day. It’s designed to make sure nobody brings a bomb disguised as a diaper bag. But it sure feels personal when they confiscate your cute crossbody. Good luck out there. May your bag be clear and your pockets be deep.