Reset Concert Series Bag Policy
The Great Purse Panic of 2024: Surviving the Reset Concert Series Bag Policy So you’ve snagged tickets to the Reset Concert Series. You’re already practicing your air guitar...
The Great Purse Panic of 2024: Surviving the Reset Concert Series Bag Policy
So you’ve snagged tickets to the Reset Concert Series. You’re already practicing your air guitar in the mirror and mentally preparing to scream along to that one song that changed your life. But then, a shadow falls over your pre-concert joy. It’s not a cloud; it’s the bag policy.
Don’t panic. I am here to be your tour guide through this confusing wasteland of zippers and straps. We’re going to dissect this thing like a frog in biology class, but with more jokes and less formaldehyde.
What Fresh Hell Is This?
First, the hard truth: you can’t bring that giant backpack you used for a weekend camping trip. You know, the one with the sleeping bag straps and the faint smell of campfire. The Reset Concert Series has a strict “clear bag only” policy. It’s like a TSA checkpoint, but with more bass drops and fewer people who look like they’ve been alive since 1952.
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Why the draconian rules? It’s not because the organizers hate fun. They actually hate long lines. A clear bag lets security see your stuff in two seconds flat. That means you spend less time waiting to get in and more time elbowing your way to the front of the pit. It’s science, people. Sad, bag-hating science.
Here’s the shocking part: your bag must be no larger than 12” x 6” x 12”. That’s smaller than a loaf of artisan sourdough. If you try to bring in a bag the size of a carry-on suitcase, security will look at you like you just tried to smuggle in a live badger.
The Allowed List: What You Can Actually Bring
So what can you shove into your tiny, transparent prison wallet? Let’s break it down. You are allowed one clear plastic, vinyl, or PVC bag. Think of it as a fishbowl for your stuff. You can also bring a small clutch purse that is no larger than 4.5” x 6.5” Fry guy looking at your wallet. That’s roughly the size of a very thick paperback, or two hamsters stacked on top of each other.
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Surprising fact: diaper bags are allowed, but they have to be clear, too. Yes, even your baby’s belongings must be visible. Apparently, the Reset Concert Series has zero tolerance for diaper-based subterfuge. Also, medically necessary bags are permitted after inspection. So if you need a bag for life-saving medication, you’re in the clear—literally and figuratively.
One more thing: camelbaks and hydration packs are allowed, but they must be empty when you enter. You’ll have to fill them up at those mysterious water stations that always seem to be located behind a guy named Kevin who is 6’8” and doesn’t move. Bring a clear bottle, too, unless you want to drink your own tears from cupped hands.
The Forbidden Zone: What Will Get You Kicked Out
Now, for the list of things that will make security guards treat you like you’re wearing a trench coat made of fireworks. First, no regular backpacks, purses, or tote bags of any kind. That cute canvas bag your aunt made you? Leave it in the car. It will be denied entry faster than a vegan at a steakhouse.
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No fanny packs (unless they are clear). I know, I know. Fanny packs had a cultural renaissance. But the Reset Concert Series is not here for your 90s throwback. They are here to make sure you aren’t hiding a goblet of wine in there. Also, no selfie sticks, tripods, or GoPro mounts. The only thing you should be holding up is your lighter—or, let’s be honest, your phone’s flashlight because no one carries lighters anymore.
Prepare for a gut punch: no aerosol cans. That means your hairspray, your dry shampoo, and your “emergency” can of whipped cream are all banished. You will have to be greasy and flat-haired, just like the sweaty gods of rock intended.
What Happens If You Break the Rules?
If you show up with a non-compliant bag, you will be given three choices. Choice One: You walk back to your car (a 45-minute round trip through a sea of tailgaters) and deposit the offending bag. Choice Two: You pay a ransom to use a third-party locker outside the venue, which costs more than a concert t-shirt. Choice Three: You burst into tears and try to fashion a bag out of duct tape and desperation. (Spoiler: This does not work.)
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Here’s a story from last year: a guy showed up with a leather messenger bag he’d had since college. He argued it was “vintage.” The security guard, who had the dead eyes of a man who has seen everything, simply said, “Sir, I don’t care if it was owned by Shakespeare. It’s not clear. It’s going back.” The man then tried to hide it in a porta-potty. It was found. It was a whole thing.
The Ultimate Pro-Tip
Here is the only survival strategy you need: Buy the official Reset Concert Series clear bag online before you go. It costs about ten bucks, it fits the rules, and it screams, “I read the instructions, and I respect the power of the security team.” Or, just wear cargo pants with eighteen pockets and skip the bag altogether. You’ll look like a photographer from 1998, but you’ll be inside the venue in four minutes flat.
Just remember: the bag policy is not your enemy. It’s a weird, plastic-coated friend that keeps you safe and gets you to the mosh pit faster. Now go forth, pack your tiny clear bag with only your phone, your ID, and a single stick of gum, and enjoy the show. You’ve got this. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do—which, frankly, leaves a lot of room for poor decisions.