Treasure Island Concert Bag Policy

So, you’ve snagged tickets to Treasure Island. Congrats! You’ve beaten the bots, the scalpers, and that one friend who always “forgets” to pay you back. But now comes the real adventure: navigating the Treasure Island Concert Bag Policy. Yes, the thing that sounds like a pirate’s rulebook but feels like a medieval test of patience.

Let’s get this straight: your bag must be small. We’re talking clutch-size, magical-purse-from-Harry-Potter size. Think “cute, not practical.” If your bag can fit a toddler, a laptop, or a single loaf of sourdough, leave it at home.

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Here’s the kicker: the maximum dimensions are 6” x 9”. That’s smaller than a standard iPad. It’s basically the size of a large wallet that’s given up on life. I measured my “small” crossbody bag against this rule, and my bag laughed at me.

Why so strict? Because security wants to speed up entry and avoid a mosh pit of confusion. But let’s be real: it’s so nobody smuggles in a live parrot, a treasure map, or nachos with enough cheese to clog the Golden Gate Bridge.

What You Can (and Can’t) Bring

You can bring a clear plastic bag—the kind that screams “I’m not hiding anything, except my shame.” Fanny packs are allowed, but only if worn across your chest like you’re a 90s dad. Backpacks? Nope. Tote bags? Nah. That stylish satchel you bought for Instagram? Leave it.

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Pro tip: wear cargo pants with deep pockets. You’ll look like a hiking enthusiast, but you can stash your phone, keys, and a single granola bar. Just don’t try to sneak in a water bottle larger than your thumb.

The Tragic Tale of the “Normal” Bag

I once saw a woman argue with a security guard for twelve minutes. She had a perfectly normal purse. The guard was unmoved, like a Sphinx made of khaki. She ended up walking to the “bag check” tent, which costs $10 cash and smells like regret and old socks.

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Moral of the story: measure your bag before you leave the house. Use a ruler. Use your hand. If your bag looks like it could house a small dog, it’s too big. Unless the dog is a chihuahua in a chokehold, in which case, maybe reconsider your life choices.

And What About… Medically Necessary Items?

Ah, the loophole! Yes, you can bring medical bags or diaper bags. But you’ll need to go through a separate lane that moves slower than a glacier with a hangover. They’ll inspect everything down to the lint. If you have an insulin pump, be prepared to explain it to a 19-year-old named Brad who’s never seen a doctor.

Still, it’s better than missing David Byrne’s set because you were fighting over fanny pack regulations. So pack light, pack smart, and for the love of all that is holy, empty your pockets of that half-eaten burrito before you reach the gate. You aren’t smuggling guacamole past security. Trust me. I’ve tried.