Perry Funeral Home Newark Nj Obituaries

Alright folks, gather 'round. I've got a tale to tell about a place you might not expect to find humor - a funeral home. Now, don't go rolling your eyes, I'm not talking about the kind of jokes you'd find on a tombstone (although, have you seen some of those? Hilarious!). I'm talking about Perry Funeral Home in Newark, NJ, and their obituaries. Yes, you heard me right. Buckle up, 'cause we're about to dive into a world of surprises, laughter, and maybe even a tear or two.

First things first, who's this Perry fella?

Well, I don't know about you, but I've always had a soft spot for underdogs. And let me tell you, Perry Funeral Home is the ultimate underdog in the world of, ahem, 'final arrangements'. You see, Newark, NJ, is home to some big-name funeral homes. We're talking about places with names like 'Majestic Memorials' and 'Eternal Elegance'. But Perry Funeral Home? It's just... Perry. No frills, no fancy alliteration. It's like the funeral home equivalent of a plain cheeseburger - simple, straightforward, and surprisingly satisfying.

Now, let's talk obituaries.

Obituaries, right? They're usually about as exciting as watching paint dry. But not at Perry's. Oh no, they've got a secret weapon. A certain je ne sais quoi that turns these usually somber notices into something... well, let's just say, unique.

Take Mrs. Edna "Bubbles" McGillicutty, for instance. Now, I don't know about you, but I've never seen 'Bubbles' in an obituary before. But there it was, in big, bold letters. 'Edna "Bubbles" McGillicutty'. I mean, who was this woman? A former circus performer? A secret agent with a penchant for carbonated beverages? The world may never know. But one thing's for sure, she was not your average Edna.

And then there's the matter of Mr. Antonio "The Pasta Prince" Lombardi. I kid you not, folks. This man was a local legend, known far and wide for his pasta-making skills. His obituary read like a who's who of Newark's pasta-loving elite, with testimonials from the likes of 'Big Tony's Spaghetti House' and 'The Pasta Bowl'. I mean, who needs a eulogy when you've got that kind of culinary legacy?

But it's not all laughs, folks.

Now, I've been having a bit of fun here, but it's important to remember that these obituaries are a celebration of life. And sometimes, that celebration comes with a healthy dose of reality. Take Mr. Harold "I Told You So" Jenkins, for example. His obituary read like a list of every home improvement project he'd ever warned his family about. It was equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking, a testament to a man who was, quite literally, his family's own personal 'I told you so'.

Perry Funeral Home | Newark, NJ

And then there's the matter of Mrs. Gertrude "I Hate Mondays" Thompson. Her obituary was a poignant reminder of the power of words. You see, Gertrude had a saying - 'I hate Mondays'. She said it so often, it became her catchphrase. Her obituary was a tribute to her, filled with memories from her family and friends. But it was also a reminder that words have power. That even the smallest, most mundane phrases can become a part of who we are. It was a sobering moment, a reminder that even in death, we leave our mark on the world.

So, what's the moral of the story?

Well, folks, I think the moral of the story is this: life is short. Too short to take ourselves too seriously. Too short to miss out on the little joys, the quirks, the 'Bubbles' and 'Pasta Princes' of the world. And when it comes to saying goodbye, well, there's no harm in a little laughter, a little joy, a little 'I told you so'. After all, as they say, 'Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.'

So, here's to Perry Funeral Home, for reminding us that even in death, there's room for a little laughter. And here's to you, dear reader, for sticking with me through this whirlwind tour of Newark's most unique obituaries. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a sudden craving for some pasta. And I know just the place to get it.